NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Monday, September 19, 2016, 1:12 AM
No, Bill Cosby wasn’t in attendance.
Emmy host Jimmy Kimmel had dozens of O.J. Simpson jokes up his tuxedo sleeve Sunday night as “The People v O.J. Simpson” was up for countless nominations at the Sunday ceremony.
“The rest of you: If your show doesn’t have a dragon or a white bronco in it, go home,” he quipped, referencing the ceremony’s frontrunners “Game of Thrones” and “People v. O.J.”
The late night TV personality also awkwardly alluded to an appearance by disgraced comedian Bill Cosby in what was an award show filled with one-liner quick hitter jokes from Kimmel — as well as some of the event’s winners and surprise guests.
Here’s a roundup of the top jokes from the 68th Annual Emmy Awards:
Matt Damon vs. Jimmy Kimmel
Actor Matt Damon (L) roasts host Jimmy Kimmel during the 68th Emmy Awards show.
(VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)
Matt Damon made a surprise appearance on the Emmy stage – while chomping away at an apple.
“The Bourne Identity” star showed up right after Kimmel lost in the Outstanding Variety Series category to “Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver.
“YES! Yes, yes,” Damon shouted once learning Oliver was the winner. “I had him in my pool.”
The two men had some back-and-forth banter on stage before Damon said “Tell your mom I like them apples.”
Kimmel was not amused by the jab, replying “Good one, Jason Boring.”
Marcia Clark sits with Sarah Paulson (who plays Marcia Clark) at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards.
Amy vs. Amy
Not only did Kimmel’s mom make everyone PB&J, she also penned each award nominee a personalized note.
Amy Schumer read her touching note aloud, nothing that Jimmy’s mother her called her the “funniest woman on television.”
“I wish you were hosting the Emmys this year,” the note read. “I’m your number one fan.”
Schumer appeared blushing and flattered before she got to the final line: “Bring back ‘Parks and Rec.'”
Whoops, wrong Amy! That’s Amy Poehler.
Marcia Clark vs. the real Marcia Clark
Sarah Paulson portrayed head prosecutor Marcia Clark in “The People v O.J. Simpson,” and who better to bring as her date than Marcia Clark herself.
Jimmy Kimmel couldn’t let that one slide.
“I would also like to acknowledge the winner of tonight’s plus-one contest, Sarah Paulson, who played Marcia Clark and actually brought Marcia Clark with her tonight. That’s a guest,” Kimmel said.
“Because everyone in L.A. knows, if you want to win, sit next to Marcia Clark.”
Cameras vs. Violins
This funny one-liner came from an award-winner.
Alan Yang — who won alongside Aziz Ansari for the “Masters of None” episode “Parents” — gave an impassioned speech about Asian-Americans on television, but it wasn’t without a good laugh.
“Asian parents out there,” he addressed viewers. “If you could just do me a favor and just a couple of you get your kids cameras instead of violins, we would be all good.”
Jimmy Kimmel & James Corden vs. Wham!
Jimmy Kimmel’s opening montage was filled with cameos from a ton of nominees, but one of the funniest appearances was thanks to a skit poking fun at James Corden’s “Carpool Karaoke” segment.
Corden attempts to give Kimmel a ride to the Emmys and therefore he has to sing-a-long to “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” with “The Late Late” host.
While the duo is singing the jam, it flashes to a recreation of Wham!’s video. However, Kimmel’s singing was so terrible Corden has to boot him from the car.
Emmys vs. Diversity
Diversity — always an award show topic of discussion.
“Here in Hollywood, the only thing we value more than diversity is congratulating ourselves on how much we value diversity,” he said.
The TV host joked about bringing the diverse Emmy audience together by asking each white person to hug a person of color.
Only “Modern Family” star Ty Burrell and Ansari were spotted embracing as the camera panned.