NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Wednesday, December 16, 2015, 10:31 PM
The “Today” show holiday party is Thursday afternoon and you know what that means? Office party shenanigans. While we’ve been drinking all day — hello, it’s part of our job! — our colleagues really let loose before their early bedtimes. But if you’ve got an office party of your own, don’t forget you’ve got to see those people the next morning. And whatever you do, don’t sit on your bosses’ lap. It never ends well.
HK: Natalie (Morales) is always the most fun at our party. You want to be next to NatMo at a holiday party because she lets her freak flag fly and dances the entire time. But it’s only funny because our Natalie is always so right-on, super smart, dresses perfectly.
KLG: Our Little Miss Perfect.
HK: Everything’s perfect. And then…
Time to get down at your holiday party just like “Today” host Natalie Morales will be doing on Thursday.
KLG: You get one drink in her, just one glass of wine.
HK: And all you want to do is dance with her! It’s like her twin sister comes to the party. And we’ve got to shout out our girl (“Today” PR maven) Megan Kopf Stackhouse, who puts the whole event together. It’s amazing, with a theme, special names for the cocktails, cute menus. Girl knows how to throw a party. It’s a big thing, the entire staff, camera guys, crew, hundreds of people.
And a word of advice for those of you hitting the holiday party circuit with your co-workers:
KLG: Wear underwear so you’ll have something to take off.
HK: You’re so sick.
KLG: Don’t sit on your boss’s lap.
HK: That’s a no-no. We’ve done that.
KLG: Unless you want to get on the unemployment line, first thing of the year.
HK: Kath and I tried that. Didn’t work out. Look at us!
12 MORE YEARS OF STERN
Howard Stern, 61, has sewn up a massive new deal with SiriusXM that’ll keep him on the air for at least another five years and tied to the company for 12. By the time this contract is done, Howard will be almost 74 years old and his man-parts will be dragging on the floor!
KLG: There’s got to be a whole lot of dollar signs involved. He’s always been honest about that.
HK: 12 years. Wow.
KLG: Yeah, I’m kind of surprised because remember when Beth was here the other day and she was so excited she said, ‘I have my Howard home because he’s leaving ‘America’s Got Talent.’
HK: I can’t believe he’s going to be around 74 by the end of that deal. That’s pretty amazing, huh? .
KLG: Good for him.
HK: Everyone was waiting for this. It’s good for everyone!
C-WORD, D-WORD, OH MY!
Tina Fey said this week that her old “Saturday Night Live” co-star Colin Quinn once called her the C-word.
HK: Colin Quinn? We love him.
KLG: Was it a joke? Considerate? Compassionate? Complex? I take those as compliments. The C-word he dropped is one that we never use.
HK: NEVER. Ever.
KLG: It’s the most vile of all the bad ones.
HK: It horrible.
KLG: I don’t think there’s a male equivalent.
HK: There really isn’t.
KLG: Lots of people are named Dick. How bad can it be?
HK: There’s even a sports store, OK?
KLG: And Dick’s (sporting goods) are very big in Los Angeles which I said one day without realizing.
HK: Dick’s is really big in L.A., that’s what she said.
KLG: All the sudden I’m on Twitter and I’m going, did I say that Dicks are really big on the West Coast? Well they are! They are the hugest sporting goods conglomerate out there. I was speaking the truth!
DOGS HATE HATS … REALLY
According to a recent study by Milk Bone, New Jersey and New York residents spend the most money on holiday gifts for their pets, $ 30.01 and $ 29.55 respectively.
KLG: Not me!
HK: I don’t either, sorry. Is that bad?
KLG: Here’s a newsflash: They don’t know it’s the holidays. And here’s another spoiler: they don’t like the outfits you buy them.
HK: Don’t put a hat on them. They hate hats!
KLG: So does Hoda
HK: Yes, we have something in common. But it’s true, dogs hate hats. Just stop it.
SERENA IS THE QUEEN-A
Watch the throne! Serena Williams is royalty on the cover of Sports Illustrated, the tennis great is the mag’s Sportsperson of the Year. But American Pharoah fans were pretty peeved, saying the honor should’ve gone to the horse instead.
KLG: I think the honor should’ve gone to Selena Gomez. That way everyone would have been happy.
HK: Serena is seriously amazing — and the first solo woman on the cover since the ’80s.
Serena Williams has been named the Sports Illustrated Sportsperson of the Year.
Enlarge Jason Merritt/Getty Images
Kim Kardashian had her placenta turned into pills.
KIM K IS JUST DISGUSTING
Yup, we heard it too. Kim Kardashian had her placenta turned in to pills.
KLG: Until there is real science, you shouldn’t start putting things into your body that were meant to leave your body.
HK: You’re so gross.
KLG: Think of all the things that go out of your body. Now tell me one thing you’d like to put back in.
Watch Kathie Lee and Hoda every day at 10 a.m. during the fourth hour of NBC’s “Today” show. Click here for more at Today.com.