Late pop icon George Michael faced deep depression after losing two of his closest loved ones in just a five-year span.
In the final interview before his death, Michael — who died on Christmas Day last year — opened up about the emotional toll it took on him after his partner, Anselmo Feleppa, was diagnosed with AIDS several years before his mother, Lesley Angold Panayiotou, died of cancer.
“From the day I found out about my partner to the day I can say I was on the mend from my mother, it was just constant fear. It was either fear of death, or fear of the next bereavement,” Michael says in an upcoming documentary, according to The Mirror.
“I’d never felt that kind of depression,” he said. “It was the darkest time.”
In that emotional interview, Michael relived spending Christmas Day in 1991 awaiting the results of Feleppa’s diagnosis.
The Wham! singer and Feleppa had kept their romance a secret to that point and were not together that day. Michael was in the United Kingdom, while his partner was in Los Angeles.
“I sat at the Christmas table not knowing whether my partner, who the people around the table did not know about … not knowing whether the man I was in love with was terminally ill, therefore not knowing whether I was, potentially, terminally ill,” Michael said, according to the transcript picked up by The Mirrior.
Remembering George Michael
Feleppa died a little over a year later in March 1993 due to an AIDS-related illness.
Michael was then devastated once again when his mother died from cancer in February 1997.
“I was so crushed and felt so bloody picked on by the Gods,” he recalls in the interview for the “George Michael: Freedom” documentary.
Michael was found dead inside his Oxfordshire, England, home last December at the age of 53. A coroner determined the following March that the singer died from natural causes stemming from heart and liver ailments.
The documentary airs next Monday on the British TV station Channel 4.